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We claim that prayer is difficult, and yet refuse to offer our entire hearts to the Lord. We beg Him to help us, but avoid Him every time He draws near. We let Him into our hearts just far enough to tell Him what we want, but put caution tape around everything that’s fragile. We invite Him only so far in, then tell Him not to touch anything. We don’t want His help over there; we corner Him like a child into one region of our hearts that we’re most comfortable with, then beg Him to leave before He changes us too much. That’s what I do, and I wonder how my prayer isn’t fruitful. I tell myself that I’m praying with my whole heart, and that’s what I truly believe at the time, but how much of my heart is covered in cobwebs? I refuse to revisit those forgotten caverns of pain, unforgiveness, and shame. I think that ignoring them will heal them, but I’m wrong to think that. Only God can soothe the sting of suffering or stabilize what has been broken, if only we would allow Him to. Do we, in fact, want to be healed? Because many times the areas of our hearts that we allow the Lord to access, aren’t the areas that need His healing touch. If we want to experience fulfillment like we’ve never known, we need to pray with more sincerity and surrender than we ever have. The best I’ve ever done for the wounds of my heart is to let them fester and infect my soul. We need to be vulnerable with God and allow Him to reach us where we are, so He can heal us as we need. He knows you in the details you have yet to discover about yourself. He is the One we need not guard against. His hand heals, His presence fulfills, His heart truly loves.

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