“An Open Letter To The Girl Who Let The Nice Guy Go”


I’ve seen it happen way too many times: The nice guy loses the girl for being exactly who he is.

What’s even worse is if he’s really the nice guy, he’s going to lose her and say nothing about it. He’ll accept it as something she truly wants and give her his best wishes, as she walks away being everything he could ever want.

On behalf of all the nice guys out there, this is to the girl who walked out on the best thing that ever happened to her:

Dear Girl Who Walked Away,

It’s not like you weren’t aware of what you were getting yourself into. He told you he was nice. He trusted easily and gave you all he could when he could.

The nice guy believes in doing things right. He was there when you needed him to be, and he went out of his way to make sure you knew just how much you could mean to someone.

We live in a generation where we all have to wear masks and play parts to make it through the battlefield of dating in the 21st century. There is no such thing as giving it your all.

We like quotes on Facebook and post things on Instagram stating we want the masochist one day and the romantic the next. We play these games where being available can only happen sometimes, and playing hard-to-get must be our number one priority. Why?

I thought the ultimate goal was to eventually settle down. I mean, what is the point of dating if you have no desire for it to go anywhere? If a one-night stand is what you’re looking for, leave the good guys alone and toy within the levels you lay down.

Save yourself time and energy because the good guy isn’t going to make it easy to just walk away. The good guy cares, so he’ll get his explanation from you even though he knows it’ll be a load of bull.

Every girl says she likes the assh*le because he’s the challenge — the one she must break, train and force to be more than just a douchebag. Have you ever thought, however, maybe you were the girl in need of learning what it means to actually feel again?

You went through something, like we all do, and because of it you changed. It’s normal and heartbreak happens, but the next assh*le didn’t fix what the first one did; he kept it the same or made it worse. His priority was not you and couldn’t be you. So now you’re bitter and closed off from anything remotely more satisfying than a one-night stand.

I won’t deny that the assh*le is fun or that a good time isn’t promised with him, but when it’s all said and done, is it ever more than just a good time? Probably not.

In fact, the assh*le has a charm about him; it’s the charm you justify your pursuit with. You say, “There’s just something about him.” However, it’s probably the same quality that ended up hurting you in the past.

So you tried to push the nice guy away. When he wouldn’t go away, you pushed harder. Still, he didn’t give up and every time you pushed harder, he pulled you in even more.

He ignored your fears and forced you to grow; he fought for your passions when you were too busy writing them off. He forgot your wants and focused on everything you needed… >>READ MORE



2 thoughts on ““An Open Letter To The Girl Who Let The Nice Guy Go””

  1. I understand and believe myself to have experienced this before. There is some danger in letting all of this go unqualified, however. The war between men and women over the term “nice guy” is somewhat justified. There are a lot of men who feel unjustly snubbed or passed over because they are willing to sacrifice their wants and desires for those of the object of their affection. There are also men who are kind, but need to grow in the strength of their masculinity.

    I have been the one that needed to grow and the one who sacrificed his feelings. There’s a lot to learn in growing up as a man, especially in terms of relationships. Even if you believe that what is meant to be will be, it does not make it easy, nor does it absolve a man of his hands-on responsibility. Is there an ultimate answer or catch-all for the problem of being a truly nice guy or that guy who is kind but needs to grow up? Yes and no. Yes in that you must never compromise who you truly are and you must take your life into your own hands, pursuing growth and responsibility as a man. No in that it may not be easy or clear, the path you must take. That is part of the challenge of being a man. Stopping short of no obstacles which are the stepping stones to greatness, no matter the suffering.

    All in all, there is little time for feeling sorry for oneself. Let yourself let it out as you need, then pick yourself up and be about your life.

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